Goodbye Luke

Today has been a very hard day. The kind of day that all pet owner dread but know at some point will happen. And I don't know if it's harder when you know it's coming or when it takes you by surprise. I guess either way it tears your heart into tiny little pieces.

I lost Luke today. I still can't wrap my head around it. There was something very special about Luke. He touched everyone that knew him. He was a gentle soul yet still full of all the wonderful quirks that make a mule a mule. He was sweet, beautiful, and talented with a willing spirit to do anything that was asked of him and he did it all with style.

Luke fractured his pelvis several months ago. I have no idea how, one of those mysterious pasture accidents. He was doing ok though we'd had a recent set back due to a large hematoma that developed on his hip. It seems it was pressing on the fracture and causing him pain. I was debating pushing the vet to try to drain it to relieve the pain or wait a bit longer to see if it would reabsorb. The vet favored waiting. But, I was sure either way, we were going to get Luke though this injury and he would get better. And he may have done just that. But, today, while doing what all mules love doing more than anything else in the world, Luke got cast on thhe fence while rolling. His already injured hip could not handle his struggle to get free and was broken beyond saving. I saw it happen and could not get to him in time to help him. I've never felt so helpless in my life. He did manage to get up once and he stumbled into the barn. I knew as soon as he got up that it was all over for him. He wanted so badly to get into his own stall, his place of safety and I felt horrible that I had to force him into the front stall. It has a large 10 foot door to the outside and I knew we'd need that. Luke stood for a while in there and I fed him nearly an entire bag of Rounder treats. And despite all he was going though, he wanted them and ate every one. But, Luke went down again in the stall and could not get back up though he tried so hard. I had called my friend Brooke and she and her sister came over to do what they could. Brooke gave Luke a dose of banamine by IV to help relax him. It did help though we had to hold him down until the vet arrived. Brooke and I sat with him and stroked his face and talked to him to the end. It was all we could do.

I know I'm going to beat myself up with "what if's" for a while, even though I know it's pointless. And my grief is doubled because Luke did not belong to me. His owners love him and trusted him to my care, and now he's gone. They are the most absolute wonderful people and have been unbelievably supportive though this despite their own grief. I can't even begin to say how much I appreciate their kindness and understanding.

Luke's body is still here tonight. I've made arrangements to take care of him tomorrow morning. It was hard when I went out to feed Marie tonight. Marie was calling for him. I brought her to him and let her sniff. She got very quiet and still after she looked him over and then very quietly went back into her stall.  And though it might be strange, I felt the need to groom Luke one last time. I needed to remove all the dirt and grime from his struggles and see him one last time with his beautiful coat once again sleek and black. Goodbye Luke, in the words of your loving owner, Kyle Smith:

"Goodbye "Gub-Gub" ... may your pasture be knee deep in grass, flies be few and your wallow be full of dust to enjoy when rolling. OX"